Then I moved on to organize all the tests that she has had done over the last three years and am organizing all those papers...multiple sleep studies, EEGs, MRI's, ultrasounds, swallow studies, genetic testing and lots of blood work, ENT camera exams, hospital exams done in Germany, Hungary, and the US...Like I said, it is pretty extensive..
The doctors tell you it is important to keep all of this information organized, because no one is going to remember her journey or medical records like you will, as her parents. And it will be important to have it all put together because what if something happens to you...her parents. As parents we don't think of that too often, but the doctors are right..we don't know the number of days that God will bless us with our kids.
It reminds me that...yes, for those of us that have special needs kids, their medical journeys are important and their history and progress...but how much more important is our kids' journey seeking to know Jesus? Yes, doing therapy at home is important and necessary for Lianna's development, but how are we as parents investing in daily nourishment for our kids' souls? How are they getting to know Jesus better each day? Do we remind them that God is in all things?
I marvel at how God went before us...for each one of these doctor appointments. My memory is flooded with witnessing opportunities that we have had with all of these people. As I reminisce, my eyes fill with tears...tears of joy, of hardship and sorrow, and thankfulness. As I look through different papers, I remember different people in the body of Christ that reached out to us at different times.
It makes my heart happy to know how each one of these doctors always makes comments about how seeing Lianna is the highlight of their day. Lianna has an amazing story already of how God has gone before her...she has stories of how God performed miracles right before the very eyes of doctors.
As I progress through this mound of paperwork, I am amazed how the Lord sustained Bjorn and me through it all..and still does. Three years into this medical journey, we can now look back a short distance and see how God's hand was in it ALL. Not that we ever doubted that He was in it all, but it is amazing how God gives us little glimpses of His character as we stand back and examine our own lives and the journey that God has taken us.
Three years ago we had an 8 month old that couldn't sit or roll over, open her hands, put weight on her legs, swallow without choking, smile due to low muscle tone in her face, or be a day without seizure medicine 2x's day. We had doctors that told us that they weren't sure what Lianna would be able to do in the future because her muscle tone was so low. But, God answered our prayers and heard our cry. God has allowed our little girl to first learn to walk with a walker (check our old post to see a video or her walking on castle hill in Budapest) with the assistance of leg braces, to now being able to walk independently. Yes, she still needs the leg braces, but she can walk....she can walk! At age 2.5 God gave her the gift to be able to walk independently. At age 3.5 she even has the muscle control to be potty trained. Praise God! We are praying that God will bless Lianna with the ability to speak, but only God knows if this is a gift that awaits her.
I have learned that through suffering, trials, and even moments of blessing, we are to keep our focus on the cross.
I am amazed at how God never gives us more than we can handle. I remember the peace that God gave us to get pregnant with Alyssa Noelle. I am amazed at how even on bed rest for 6 weeks when I was pregnant with Alyssa, God was right there..in it all. He stopped my labor, and allowed Alyssa not to be born in the NICU. My heart is filled with joy as I see Alyssa progressing so fast in her development and what a gift that it is...a gift that many of us never even think about, because for many of us it happens so naturally. It is amazing to see how God created our bodies...amazing!
My heart is so full when I get to see my girls play with each other. The Lord gives gifts and takes them away..and only He knows the reasons behind it all. I can rest in confidence that even in my miscarriage back in May...God was in that too and that my little baby that was "supposed to be" is resting in the arms of our heavenly father. I may not understand it all, but that is okay..the important thing is that I need to trust Him through it all.
As we walk this road of life, there are times that God will take us through rough roads, but He will use them to draw us closer to Himself. We will be reminded that we are in the safety of the palm of His hand.
I can't help but want to praise our Savior in Heaven as I go through all these papers.
Praise God that He is the author and perfector of our faith!
Praise God that He promises to never leave us nor forsake us!
Praise God that He promises to give us a peace that transcends all understanding!
Praise God that He answers us in the day of trouble!
Praise God that He hears our cries and desires of our heart!
Praise God that we don't need to understand it all!
Praise God for the body of Christ, and how we can walk this road called life together!
Praise God He saves a wretch like me!
Here is a picture of Lianna running with bags of American candies and her new princess necklace that were sent to us in the mail last week. She was so excited....can you tell? Who knew candy corn and Reeses were so excited....okay, well, I was probably just as excited! :D
